I Have No Father!
How a Muslim Became an Atheist
by Nico Raj Rahm
http://nicorahm.com/
The typical array of trees and light posts lined the road. Houses were outlined by green lawns symbolic of a community of young families. The fathers in these households took great pride in teaching their sons lessons in morality and ethics. The young boy’s father was no exception.
One day the boy of seven years of age was reading a book of fairy tales while resting on the family room couch. In came his father who sat opposite him and stared at his young son. The boy looked up from the book and smiled at his father.
“My son, please, put down that useless book and come sit beside me”.
The son does as he is told, and took a seat right next to his father on the couch.
“My dear son, do you love your father?”
“Yes, of course.” The boy replied.
“Then, you would do as your father wishes?”
“Of course father, anything.”
“You are now a man my son, and as a man you must abide by the following rules to ensure that you reach your potential in life.” The father paused, awaiting confirmation from his son.
“Yes, father.” The boy was growing anxious.
“First, you must respect your parents, and do as you are told”
“Yes, father, as you wish.”
“Second, you must respect your elders for they are wise and have plenty to teach you.”
The boy nodded his head in acceptance.
“Third, you must not steal, for it is wrong.”
“Fourth, you must not engage in any physical acts with the opposite sex, until marriage.”
The boy giggled, but quickly hid his naivety as his father gave him a stern look of displeasure.
“Fifth, you must not drink wine nor consume mind altering chemicals, for they confuse your mind, and distract you from your love and respect for your father”
The boy nodded his head.
“Sixth, you must not consume the meat of pigs for they are dirty animals.”
“Yes, father.”
“Seventh, you must not touch dogs for there are dirty and unholy animals. If you do accidentally touch a dog, then you must wash your hands and ask me for forgiveness.”
“As you wish, father”
“Eighth, prior to consuming the meat of holy animals you must wash your hands, recite how great I am, and slit the throat of the animal until the last drop of blood had spilled.”
The boy grimaced at the thought. “But father, does not the animal feel pain?”
“This is not the time for questioning my demands my son. Your task is only to listen.” Replied the father quickly.
“Yes, father.”
“Ninth, you must read this book,” The father handed his son a large book and placed it in his lap.
The little boy opened the book and began to read the first page, which described how his father is a great father, the only truly loving father, and he must obey him or else be punished.
“Yes father, I will read this book every day.”
“Tenth, you must not eat any food nor drink any liquid while the sun is up in the sky for a total of thirty days, once a year.”
“Yes father”
“Lastly, you must kneel, place your forehead on the ground, and recite passages from the book I handed you, and swear that I am the only truly loving father, the greatest father. Do this five times a day, every day, and for the rest of your life.”
“Yes father, I will do as you wish. I love you.”
“I love you too my son”.
The father exited the room. The young boy picked up his father’s great book and headed for his bedroom to read. The book of fairytales was left behind on the couch.
************************
The boy was now twelve years of age. Through school and the natural curiosity of a young mind he had made new friends through social activities and sporting events. Most of his friends were similar to him; they all had fathers who loved them very much, and imposed demands upon them to ensure that they mature into better men and women. But the boy was surprised to learn that not all of his friends had fathers who imposed the same demands. Some had fathers that enforced different rules.
How could that be? The boy asked himself, how could my father be the only true loving father if my friends all have loving fathers?
As the boy continued to visit the homes of his new friends, and is invited to join their families for dinner, he observed that not all of his friends have to abide by the same rules he did. Some do not have to kneel on the floor five times a day, and declare that their fathers are the only truly loving fathers. They do not have to go without food nor water while the sun is up in the sky for thirty days, every year. Some fathers allow their sons to consume the meat of pigs, and other unholy animals. They do not cut the throat of animals to make them holy. Their fathers do not force their wives to cover their faces and their skin in the presence of other men.
But the boy also observed some similarities. His friends must read books about how their fathers are the greatest, and how their fathers will strike down and hurt them if they do not follow the rules. Their fathers tell of stories of war and terror. Their fathers also declare how other families who do not conform to the same moral beliefs must be forced into accepting their values and traditions.
While the boy began to learn more about his friends’ families and households, he still loved his father, and believed that his father will not deliberately steer him wrong.
He continued to follow the rules; reading the book, kneeling on the floor five times a day, and fasting once a year. He continued to control his gaze so as to not be staring at young females, lest they distract him from his love for his father.
********************
The boy was now fifteen years of age. His observations of his friends have left him with many questions. Yet, whenever he happened to ask his father one of those questions, his father answered with the usual, “do you love your father? Then you must trust me, and believe in me. I know that there are many distractions in life my son, but your love for me must be stronger. You must have blind faith. I created you my son. I provided you with food and shelter. Believe in me, and keep your questions at bay, so as not to stir curiosities within your mind and steer your love away from me. Otherwise, I will have no choice but to hurt you, and banish you from this house.” The boy did not enjoy his father’s companionship when he was threatening, he scared him.
The boy was introduced to the disciplines of science, math, history, philosophy, and other mind opening studies. But the boy was now confused. How could his father have built their home on his own?
Others have had fathers who acted much like his father thousands of years ago, only to learn they were no different than others to come after them.
How could his father be watching over the boy’s entire family all at once, even if his father was not near? One can only see what the eyes see.
How could his father command thunder and rain? The science book explained those are natural forces created by the rotation of the earth.
If throughout history fathers created their children and the world around them, then who created animals of ancient times?
The boy grows more confused every day, but he continued to abide by his father’s rules. He had no choice. His father would always demand that he continue to read the great book, and put to memory all of its passages. The boy had once declared to his father that putting the pages to memory had taken away valuable time needed to truly study the book’s message and formulate questions.
“My son,” replied his father, “studying my message and formulating questions are honorable feats, but putting my book to memory in full will always be the greatest achievement in order to prove your true love for me. “
“But father, I find memorizing the book to be a much simpler task than learning its true meaning and debating its message.”
“Well then, if it is so simple complete the memorization and then take the time necessary to learn its full meaning.”
“But father, memorizing is simpler, but too much time is consumed in the process. I find that my ability to utilize my curious mind falls short as my time is consumed by tasks which do not pose intellectual challenges.”
“My son, by memorizing my book first your mind will harbor its very own library to reference whenever in need.” The father continued, “go now my son, and wash to purify your body in order to pray and prove your true love for me.”
The boy did as he was told.
*********************
The boy was now a man of twenty-one years of age. His studies continued to expand his mind with lectures in advanced science and philosophy. His passion for helping others had led him down a path of medical training.
In college, he met a beautiful woman. They would meet on many occasions at the library. He would learn that she had no father, she had never met him. Her mother worked to support her. Her mother did not feel constrained by an oppressive relationship, and hence, had the pleasure of achieving success and pursue her own life experiences. This woman was very bright, cheerful, passionate about helping the unfortunate, and very respectful of her elders.
The man asked his father one night as they sat to eat along with his mother, “Father, I met a woman recently through my class, and she has no father, yet she has all the qualities that you seek to instill in me! How could this be?”
The father’s eyes grew large, and a frown suddenly materialized upon his face.
”Son, listen to me closely, you are not to speak to this woman at all. Not only might she steer your mind toward the impure and dirty thoughts of physical acts, but she also does not have a father. This makes her an even bigger immoral person than those with fathers of different beliefs.”
”But father, she is very smart, friendly, and we converse as if we both were men. Also, father, I have friends who enter into relationships outside of marriage, some for love and some just for the physical acts of pleasure, yet they all have morals and are of great character!”
The father grew angrier.
”Son, you are betraying your father’s wishes. Go now, leave your dinner, and read my book, and kneel on the floor in your room, and declare that I am the greatest father. I provide for you.”
”No, you do not provide fore me!” The man shouts back, surprised at his confrontational stance against his father’s wishes, “I provide for myself, I live on my own, and do not have to abide by your rules. I will help the poor because it is an honorable gesture. I will respect not only my elders, but all people, for we are all the same yet all different. I will love whomever I want, whenever I want, and will not be forced into marriage for the sake of satisfying my natural sexual hunger, as long as I do not hurt anyone, whether physically or mentally.”
”If you do not do as I say, then you are banished from this house!”
”I banish myself, for now I know, that if my father is a cruel, ruthless, self-indulging, racist, intolerant ego-maniac then,” The man paused,
”I have no father!”
With that said, the man ran out of the house, into his car, and drove away to live his own life, free of prejudice, racism, and intolerance of others, and free to satisfy his ever growing curiosity about the world around him.
I Have No Father!... Revisited
http://nicorahm.com/
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Nicely written, and it provided a viewpoint in a personal way that I had not experienced before.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement 100%. Suppression of knowledge does not enlighten, it enslaves. As does dedication to ritual.
That is exactly what the muslim faith is: enslavement.
ReplyDeleteThe very word "muslim" means "slave of Allah".
Only the very brave and very wise can wrestle themselves away from this opression. It is not by accident that I oppose radical muslim influences in our western culture.
And it is hardly different from the christian faith in that regard.
ReplyDeleteI am not muslim, let me just say that first. I stumbled upon this page. I am however pleased to see people in every faith questioning their religions oppressive qualities. I am a born jew, and I have no issues with muslims, arabs, or anyone else for that matter. I have seen many muslims oppressed by their religion however and I am glad to see there is an emerging group in your faith willing to question their own beliefs in the search of truth.
ReplyDeleteI too stumbled on this, but I'm muslim and I find this quite situational. You can have the same results from any oppressive "father."
ReplyDeleteMuslim, Christian, whatever.
Though arguing/discussing religion can be a nightmare headache..
Well written, I say. But Islam as a faith should not be seen so skewed. Similar to how this boy slowly saw a variety of new things, there are many "shades" of Islam. Sadly, the more conservative and radical views are seen by the public.
silly story. nothing to do with religion or atheism at all.
ReplyDeleteit diminishes the human endeavor to reach outside oneself for meaning into a pursuit of conformity with the social mores of the day. humans gain self-knowledge and meaning through the experience of community and by extension, the experience of spirituality. i think many atheists would begrudge the simplistic reason you give for giving up the Islamic faith -- to be just like the others. I would argue that the kind of faith in this example was not faith but a set of shallow behaviours, conditionally established.
Er...J, I do believe that Muslim means "one who submits to God".
ReplyDeleteNot all Muslims are intolerant and spiteful. Sadly, this is what the Western public sees, and so they believe that all Muslims want to kill Americans and destroy our way of life.
Islam is not violent in the least. The Qu'ran does not preach violence and killing. It is strict, yes. But it does not advocate violence.
It is not a silly story at best and it is not about converting to the norm and it is about atheism. He explains quite clearly when he is with his friends and especially his Lab partner, that they all are morally appropriate and in the end good people with good values, without having to pledge such an allegiance to a Faith. When he leaves his house he has become an atheist because he too wishes to be as free in the mind as they are.
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed this. Well written and insightful.
ReplyDeleteI was born a babtist, then converted to Episcopalian, raised my children Catholic; but now question the existence of a supreme being who made the world,man, light(?) etc.....
I have nothing against Muslims, or persons of any other faith, as long as they keep it to themselves. Extremist are part of every religion, unfortunately. and the members of the evangelical christian right are currently running the USA. We need to put a stop to it.
I also agree that the Musllim faith is supposed to be one of gentelness, not one of violence. The extremists have turned things around to make their followers have someone to blame for their poverty. (sound familiar??? hint: WWII)
Very well written, and provided a much needed perspective of the modern Muslim. While the vast majority of teens I know are very tolerant and accepting, they have very little solid information to latch on to, save the out-dated textbooks, which makes for stereotypical and outright incorrect knowledge. I for one find it very appeasing to hear that everyone of every faith can question their religion with a level and unbiased mind, even those of the strictest laws. If anyone knows a book that summarizes an average Muslim today concerning their religious beliefs and traditions, I would be very grateful.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about becoming an atheist, then I found out they don't have any holidays....
ReplyDelete"any" religion=big business like no business=tax free profit=mine is bigger than yours=the rapture(qiyamah(t)=wars ww 1 2 3 back to the rapture=pre teen boys as sex toys=chastity belt also known as veils for nuns muslim jews and some hindus=sati(pyre) for hindus=abu gharaib,gitmo=rendition=
ReplyDeletesaudia=belts=all in the name of merciful god ogs...in the background i hear darwin pass gas slyly.
J it is like this for any religion not just for Muslim people, I think your missing the whole point of this story. Its a very nice story and i hope this happens to more and more people.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I'd like to correct the comment about the meaning of Muslim.
ReplyDeleteORIGIN early 17th cent.: from Arabic, active participle of 'aslama (see Islam ).
USAGE Muslim is the preferred term for 'follower of Islam,' although Moslem is also widely used. The archaic term Muhammadan (or Mohammedan) should be avoided.
There, now that I've said that, I'd like to say how much I enjoyed the process writing of your experience. It is very hard to be pushed away by such things especially when one loves the perpetrator.
Good luck in your journey to personal truth !
you guys just need good reason for your failures in life. ;)
ReplyDeletei once red that there must "been" a "reason" for something or even a idea to exist or it wont. first of all must there be a reason for your problems?. i guess your pretty sure that its religion and not something else is bothering you?. perhaps it isn't your religion at fault but your egoistic idealisms . earn his respect buy setting examples of your own.
Soon or later you well discover that every religion or idealism well teach you that your slaves of debt physically, metaphorically, socially, scientifically or even financially etc.ANd you better pay up with hard labour. This is my interpretation of belief.
one must have faith in some sort of idealism mere it be seen a just or an unjust cause. We are slaves of debt :)
Atheism is now your new faith and negligence in your reasoning well make you buy a pink car.
Heh, I stumbled this too.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I totally forgot that this was about Islam and not Christianity by the end.
wow tresher that was nearly completely incoherent. great job
ReplyDeletenice story though
perhaps i exaggerated a little bit. but reality comes hard. And it comes to how you inter prate dialogs. i was merely saying that is not what you learn in life but how you learn it. We are slaves to laws of nature and must acknowledge gravity even if we are flying plains because the outcome is obvious if we don't.
ReplyDeleteThought evolves..no matter how conservative...this world is eventually going to abandon religion..only those will be left who wants to divide and rule and we all will laugh at them.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the focus is Islam vs. the rest of the world. One could have replaced the Muslim tone with that of ANY religion , and the moral would have been the same (with the possible exception of the Unitarian Universalist, as the church is creed-less and founded on the ideals of truth, ones own personal quest for truth, and the acceptance of others, regardless of race, sexual orientation, etc).
ReplyDeleteRegardless, the real point was on how religion as a whole is oppressive, not necessarily just Islam. Everyone needs to learn to accept each others differences.
Nico, Thank you for your story.
ReplyDeleteI, too, had a repressive father who, in my case, was from the fundamentalist Christian background. Unlike you, I did not love or respect my father who had a personality disorder. This did not, however, make giving up my beloved belief system any easier as the minister of my church, who was a really great guy, had become my surrogate father.
In the end, the persistently enquiring mind coupled with intellectual integrity overcomes the social need to belong to one's family or origin or family of adoption. If there is an emotional debt here the rift can be horrendous. Those who feel the pain most are those who have yet to find friends of like-minded spirit who can provide emotional support.
I am happy that you were able to find people who provided love and care as you went through the transition from a familiar belief set to a more compelling but unfamiliar belief set.
May you find the peace, the beauty the wonder, the comfort and the friendship that others have found as they move away from a restricting belief in the supernatural.
This does not just apply to the muslim faith. All theologies are exactly the same.
ReplyDeleteMy Protestant father and Catholic mother answered my first questions about god/faith by telling me that although most folks said so, there most likely was not a "real" god - but that many people wanted/needed to believe that there was. That I would not inevitably be punished for any "bad" behavior, but that I would likely suffer in some way if I new/felt I was doing wrong. They told me that there very well might be some form of "heaven" but that there was definately no hell. They said I could believe or not believe in any god I wished, and could even make up my own - warning only not to put my faith in anything that didn't make sense (to me), feel comfortable, or harm others in ANY way.
ReplyDeleteI guess I was lucky.
I must say, it still amazes me that there are intelligent, adult human beings that actually believe there's some sort of spiritual referee (and presume to know its name!) up in the sky...keeping tabs on all of this nonsense.
I live for the day when I can stumble through the net and not be assaulted by religious fanaticism or atheist propaganda. All of you. Both sides. The fanatics with their narrow view of the world and the nonbelievers who have boiled everything down to facts and figures. You've managed to alienate each other to point where it's unlikely any of you will ever be heard by the other side. Every one of these pages is simple mental masturbation. No one but people like yourselves both to read them. The same with the faith junkies. How's about someone writing an article that actually gets read by the opposition?
ReplyDeletehah, nice story; liked every bit of it xD
ReplyDelete"it diminishes the human endeavor to reach outside oneself for meaning into a pursuit of conformity with the social mores of the day."
ReplyDelete-- like all religions. Fancy that.
you guys have to much time in your hands
ReplyDeleteEddie said...
ReplyDelete"athiest propaganda"???
it's called freedom of thought. Religion blinkers your view of the world.
Athiests don't fly planes into buildings or blow up buses.
What that father did was close t child abuse. He took away his child's right to choose.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteIt think this could have been a nice story, but i dislike the fact that you picked a "Muslim" as an example even though it could have been a person of any other religion as well.
To tell your story in a decent and proper way, you didn't even have to notice which religion the person believed in.
I'm guessing you did this because of some "personal frustration" against Muslims or something like that?
P.S.
I'm an atheist..
I really liked that story. I grew up as a muslim, but around fifteen I abandoned my tenable faith in allah.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 16, my mother even threatened to throw me out of the house, and would have if I hadn't had a wordpress blog. I posted the whole story, and she yelled at me "You make me sound like a monster!" to which I replied "I only wrote what was there.
Ha ha, I stumbled this too!
ReplyDeleteI think it shows very well how repressing religion is. But I think it should be pointed out that the father in this case was not necessarily a cold and unloving person. He had just been enslaved by his religion.
If one is misinformed they can take anything out of context. not to mention how questioning is a part of religion/faith. no where does it say that one cannot question their religion. if one doesn't feel that they are following what they think is right then by all means find what makes you happy in life. but one must remember just b/c you are given something as a child doesn't mean as an adult you cannot make your own choices. all humans have an inherent nature to question. religion also should not be confused with culture. these two things often blend together and are never questioned by the so called 'followers' of any religion. there are so many inconsistencies in the man's idea of how Islam is to be practiced. Muslim means 'servant of god'. god being the one and only supreme being. just b/c this author had a racist, bigot, culturally skewed father does not mean all Muslims think, live, or act this way. everyone has a choice in life. enslavement is allowing others make that choice for you. before choosing, be true to yourself and make an informed decision. good luck on your journey.
ReplyDeleteIf one is misinformed they can take anything out of context. not to mention how questioning is a part of religion/faith. no where does it say that one cannot question their religion. if one doesn't feel that they are following what they think is right then by all means find what makes you happy in life. but one must remember just b/c you are given something as a child doesn't mean as an adult you cannot make your own choices. all humans have an inherent nature to question. religion also should not be confused with culture. these two things often blend together and are never questioned by the so called 'followers' of any religion. there are so many inconsistencies in the man's idea of how Islam is to be practiced. Muslim means 'servant of god'. god being the one and only supreme being. just b/c this author had a racist, bigot, culturally skewed father does not mean all Muslims think, live, or act this way. everyone has a choice in life. enslavement is allowing others make that choice for you. before choosing, be true to yourself and make an informed decision. good luck on your journey.
ReplyDeleteRespect. Bummer that it had to cost you a relationship with your father, assuming it's autobiographical. That said, when I became an atheist, I really didn't have any choice in the matter. Kind of like when you stop believing in Santa. Even if you really, really want to go back.. to get all those presents... the anticipation..you can't just make yourself believe in something when you've seen through it.
ReplyDeleteBut hey, people sometimes chill out when they get older.. he probably won't change, but maybe your father will learn to look the other way..
this story is a situational one meaning that this happens alot no matter what faith u are except buhdist (because i have yet to meet or hear of a controling buhdist) but the main religions christianity, islam, and jewish are controling. I being raised in a christian house hold wasn't controled severly that way but was forced to go to church every sunday and sometimes wensdays. I have not read the whole bible but i have read enough to know it is strict and the people who wrote it and some of the translators wanted control and to throw u off of the truth. Which is why alot of very strong believing christians hate astronomy, evolution, any fairy tale with a whicth or story with a vampire, and any other religion. I think they hate them so much cuz there afraid of what they might find out or be smited by god. they also might hate them because of the truth which is it is all a bunch of BS i saw a video and it littly blew my mind go to youtube and look up the greatest story every told it has three parts and it makes so much sense. I'm still confirming this video but i highly recomend you whatch it. Religion is a powerful weapon which uses control of ones beliefs to do what one wants (ex: crusades). Concluding this i still have not disbelived in all supernatural things such as ghoast, tarrot cards, ect. because of my personal experiences.
ReplyDeletethis story is a situational one meaning that this happens alot no matter what faith u are except buhdist (because i have yet to meet or hear of a controling buhdist) but the main religions christianity, islam, and jew are controling. I being raised in a christian house hold wasn't controled severly that way but was forced to go to church every sunday and sometimes wensdays. I have not read the whole bible but i have read enough to know it is strict and the people who wrote it and some of the translators wanted control and to throw u off of the truth. Which is why alot of very strong believing christians hate astronomy, evolution, any fairy tale with a whicth or story with a vampire, and any other religion. I think they hate them so much cuz there afraid of what they might find out or be smited by god. they also might hate them because of the truth which is it is all a bunch of BS i saw a video and it littly blew my mind go to youtube and look up the greatest story every told it has three parts and it makes so much sense. I'm still confirming this video but i highly recomend you whatch it. Religion is a powerful weapon which uses control of ones beliefs to do what one wants (ex: crusades). Concluding this i still have not disbelived in all supernatural things such as ghoast, tarrot cards, ect. because of my personal experiences.
ReplyDeleteSorry, this story have a fundamental mistake.
ReplyDeleteThe Christian believe all children are born sinner which is contradict to the teaching of Jesus.
Jesus said, be like small children so that you can go to heaven.
All children are born Muslim and sinless.
You are Muslim unless you choose otherwise
this story provides only the dark side of religion which is the one perceived by many but not the positivity it instills.When you think father as authoritative,dominating and ruthless you end up as an atheist but these are not the qualities of God as taught by Islam or other religion per se but it is the perception created by the deeds done by the few individuals who use the religion for satisfying their own selfish ends .Ans as these men are seen as representative of the religion their actions as the teachings of the religion which are basically love,compassion ,forgiveness and tolerance to name a few.But yes this story critics at the mechanically following the rituals without understanding the essence of these practices.
ReplyDeletequite a story by one having so little knowledge about Islam, I guess...
ReplyDeletethen again, what religion does not teach humility? failing to see such point leads to pride itself, as the boy perfectly showed.. just like the first being to fall because of pride, Satan himself
Probably one of the most worthless stories I've read in my time.
ReplyDeleteGo and repent before its too late bhenchod. Get yourself a real name, open up the Quran, and learn something. Think about how you were created and brought into this world my friend.
Dear bhenchod,
ReplyDeleteWhy are you speaking to yourself?
Go and repent before its too late bhenchod. Get yourself a real name, open up the Quran, and learn something. Think about how you were created and brought into this world my friend.
I do not think that this article was addressed to you. So cut out the unpleasantness.
The boy is mankind, and his ages refer to different centuries, i.e. 15 = 15th century 21 = 21st century, etc. Just wanted to make sure everyone gets that.
ReplyDelete